Ready, set, wait!

We have now officially completed all of the paperwork, doctor's appointments, fingerprints, background checks and coursework for adoption. All we need to do is put the papers in the mail and pay the adoption agency starting fee and we are ready for the homestudy interviews, which ultimately places us on the list. The papers have been sitting on my mantle for 4 days now and they haven't budged. My mind has raced over them plenty of times, but my actions have been halted towards the papers. It's this strange feeling, this question in my mind-- am I ready? It is the weirdest thing because I long for a baby, I know there is someone missing from our family, that there is supposed to be this other little one sitting at our breakfast table, but I still wonder if it is possible, if a miracle can happen in my own body.

Yesterday I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I eventually got out of bed. I couldn't get my infertility off of my mind. I decided to search the internet about my specific issue-- high FSH. I came across a wonderful website ( http://www.highfshinfo.com/ ) that connected me to a book called Inconceivable written by Julie Indichova. She is a woman who faced my same diagnosis and overcame the odds by changing her diet and doing yoga. Basically, she slowed down enough to take care of herself in ways that she had not done in years. It was a very touching book-- I bought it yesterday and have already finished reading it. It inspires me to see the possibilities within my own predicament.