Mailed and Delivered!

Drum roll please....Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....ching! I finally sent those papers to the agency!

This is how I decided to move forward:

A few nights ago I was praying and asking God to help me love an adopted child like my own, without distinction. I said "Dear Lord, please let me love this child like my own," and then I went on a tangent and said "not my own in the sense that I own the child, but in the sense that he/she is mine to guide, encourage and safely and lovingly introduce and lead through this world." And then, the strangest thing happened, it occured to me that every child He gives a couple, whether biological or adopted, is given to the couple for this purpose. We don't have any other claims to the child in the sense that he/she is ours, even if the child comes from our own bodies. All children/people belong to God alone. It was just like this gigantic lightbulb went off in my head. Understanding parenting from this perspective helped me get over the hesitation of sending those papers. The next day I felt completely fine and mailed them in. What a faith-stretcher, this process!! And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I selected to trust Him and mail those papers, God, as usual, has completely come right along by my side and given me a foundation of peace about the whole thing. I don't have anymore knots in my stomach or questions. I know that it is in His hands and He is leading us perfectly. Ah, this journey. Life is really interesting.