Pretend

Here Gigi is pretending to be a cowgirl-ballerina and I am pretending to be a photographer! Played around with the tint and exposures on photoshop. Can't figure out which is the "right" level for any image. Each of these images have a different feel because of the color ranges (first one leans blue, second one leans greeny-yellow and the bottom one has a lot of magenta-y color I think). Is there a right or wrong???? Part of me thinks it is simply artistic intent, but other parts of me think there must be certain levels that are correct. I'd like a book about that! Any recommendations anyone?

Garden Fresh

Well, after all the rain the garden just exploded. We have been eating fresh salads every night. It has been fabulous! I would highly recommend gardening to anyone who has the inclination. This all emerged from some seeds I bought from Burpee and a few plants I picked up through my local farmer's co-op. When I planted the garden I kind of wondered if anything would really grow. It is so amazing what comes from seeds. If you are new to gardening, start with radishes. They sprout up the fastest. And a place I haven't yet purchased from but is an incredibly fascinating organization is Seed Savers. You can visit them at www.seedsavers.org and read all about their mission and the great seeds they offer. As a tangent, if you are really interested, you should read about the Svalbard Global Seed Vault to which they are contributing.

Memorial Day

In memory of my grandparents Byron and Muriel Johnson -- to two loving people who taught me and my sisters about patriotism, love, hard work and honor through their actions, stories, laughter and hugs, I salut you and send you kisses and hugs from Oklahoma. I miss you guys.

My Grandmother

I was blessed with two wonderful grandmothers. I really have had so many fabulous women in my life. I wish I had been into photography when my other grandmother was still alive. I would have taken the time to capture her image just like I captured my maternal grandmother this past weekend. Isn't she beautiful? I have always thought she was elegant. I like this picture because it captures a spark of her personality. I see it in her eyes-- reserved, dignified, a tad mishevious and always kind. I took a few of Grampy as well but haven't quite captured his personality yet. I'm going to keep snapping away and see if I can get it soon.

JUNEBUG

Junebug is the first dog I ever loved. She and I palled around back in 2000 when I first started gardening. She was such a great garden companion, just following me wherever and keeping me company while I dug holes, pulled weeds and admired blooms. It just occurred to me over Memorial Day weekend while we were hanging out at my parents house that she has now reached the ripe old age of 84 (in dog years). This weekend she didn't have quite the spring in her step that she had in the past, but she still had her goofy way of plopping along happily as Georgia and I explored the yard. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to write about her here just to pay tribute to a dog that has a special place in my heart. I think I might just buy her some extra dog treats this summer. Love you Juney.

First Swim of the Year!

Roses

Have to give my roses a spot too. Aren't they beautiful!

Mailed and Delivered!

Drum roll please....Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....ching! I finally sent those papers to the agency!

This is how I decided to move forward:

A few nights ago I was praying and asking God to help me love an adopted child like my own, without distinction. I said "Dear Lord, please let me love this child like my own," and then I went on a tangent and said "not my own in the sense that I own the child, but in the sense that he/she is mine to guide, encourage and safely and lovingly introduce and lead through this world." And then, the strangest thing happened, it occured to me that every child He gives a couple, whether biological or adopted, is given to the couple for this purpose. We don't have any other claims to the child in the sense that he/she is ours, even if the child comes from our own bodies. All children/people belong to God alone. It was just like this gigantic lightbulb went off in my head. Understanding parenting from this perspective helped me get over the hesitation of sending those papers. The next day I felt completely fine and mailed them in. What a faith-stretcher, this process!! And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I selected to trust Him and mail those papers, God, as usual, has completely come right along by my side and given me a foundation of peace about the whole thing. I don't have anymore knots in my stomach or questions. I know that it is in His hands and He is leading us perfectly. Ah, this journey. Life is really interesting.

Gigi and Elle

Mindy and Elle visited the other weekend. Elle is rolling everywhere! And Gigi thought it was so fun she joined her! The two of them were just rolling away on the floor happy as a lark. Elle should be sitting up very soon. She is quite strong!

Peonies a Blooming!

My peonies are flush with flowers right now. Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Gorgeous! And look how huge the the red rose in the bottom picture is-- amazing! This year I didn't have to snactch any from my neighbors yards. I'm so glad to have some of my own. If and when we move, I am taking these plants with me!

Ready, set, wait!

We have now officially completed all of the paperwork, doctor's appointments, fingerprints, background checks and coursework for adoption. All we need to do is put the papers in the mail and pay the adoption agency starting fee and we are ready for the homestudy interviews, which ultimately places us on the list. The papers have been sitting on my mantle for 4 days now and they haven't budged. My mind has raced over them plenty of times, but my actions have been halted towards the papers. It's this strange feeling, this question in my mind-- am I ready? It is the weirdest thing because I long for a baby, I know there is someone missing from our family, that there is supposed to be this other little one sitting at our breakfast table, but I still wonder if it is possible, if a miracle can happen in my own body.

Yesterday I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I eventually got out of bed. I couldn't get my infertility off of my mind. I decided to search the internet about my specific issue-- high FSH. I came across a wonderful website ( http://www.highfshinfo.com/ ) that connected me to a book called Inconceivable written by Julie Indichova. She is a woman who faced my same diagnosis and overcame the odds by changing her diet and doing yoga. Basically, she slowed down enough to take care of herself in ways that she had not done in years. It was a very touching book-- I bought it yesterday and have already finished reading it. It inspires me to see the possibilities within my own predicament.

Whew!

This past weekend was a whirlwind. We went house hunting Thursday afternoon (yes, we are planning on moving), Thursday evening we went to a baseball game (see photo above), Friday night we went to see Slum Dog Millionaire (heart-wrenching and disturbing, not recommended, although I will say it is pretty realistic), Saturday we celebrated Mother's Day with my grandmother in the morning/afternoon and then went to visit Jenny Yeagy Saturday evening, a friend from Guatemala who was up in the States, Sunday morning was church and then Sunday day I hosted a baby shower. I am pooped!!! I've been moving as slow as a tortoise today and would just like to sit idle in a lawn chair with lemonade, or better yet a margarita, for a good 24 hours. No, let me improve this dream-- I would like to sit idle, on a cruise ship (to which I just poofed onto without worry about packing or traveling to arrive upon), with my lemonade and the ocean breeze, caribbean music and children's laughter in the background. That would be fantastic.

Photoshop Class

I'm taking an online Photoshop course and one of the assignments was to change a color photo to sepia and then paint in some color. I chose to work on this picture of Gigi. This style is not my favorite for photos-- although maybe it was 12-15 years ago. Still, it is great to learn how to do this and so here is my most recent homework assignment. Notice how I changed the color in the flower to a pink, green and blue and brought back the original color of the hat.