The Emperor Moth

A man once found a cocoon of the beautiful emperor moth and took it home so that he could watch the moth emerge from the cocoon.

On the day a small opening appeared, he sat enthralled and watched for several hours as the moth struggled to force its body through the little hole. After a while it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could go and it could go no further. He just seemed to be stuck.

So the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth... he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of cocoon. To his relief, the moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because at any moment the wings would enlarge and expand and support the body, which would contract in time, and the moth would fly away. But it never happened. In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Freedom and flight could only come after struggle. By depriving the moth of its struggle, he deprived the moth of health and freedom.

If we were to go through life without any obstacles or struggle, we too would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we would have been. Give every struggle (opportunity) a chance, learn to grow beyond it and fly free of your cocoon - leave no room for regrets.

-Author Unknown

Layers

Have you ever noticed how layers make life more interesting? Cook a hamburger using meat straight out of the package with a bun straight from the grocery store and slap some american cheese on it and you have a burger. However, if you take the time to season your meat with some salt and pepper (and whatever else you prefer), add a few onions to the pan before you cook your meat, take time to butter and toast your buns, and then use a cheese that has been aged -- like a good aged cheddar, then you have A BURGER! There is more to it than the basic ingredients-- it has been layered with flavor and wow how those layers bring out the best in the end product!

I've started to notice that everything is better with layers-- makeup application looks better layered, decorating is better layered, cooking is better with layers and so is photography! Even people are layered. Children come fresh out of the package and it is endearing and fabulous because they are so in the moment and honest about it. As people age, there are experiences, sad and happy ones, that form the person and make them interesting, profound and sometimes difficult to understand. Sometimes you have to peel the layers away to get at the core of a person. And sometimes a person is so transparent you see through to the core immediately, even though there are many layers.

It takes courage to be transparent about one's life and to be honest about the layers-- the good and the bad ones. I think art (music, literature, painting, film, sculpture, architecture, etc.) that is powerful and speaks volumes comes from an artist who is honest. Honesty resonates with humanity and elevates expression-- whatever kind, to true art and sometimes even to a masterpiece. There are artists in each of us with an expression to be made if we are courageous enough to be honest with ourselves and voice it. I guess life is an evolution towards expressing this inner voice. And I read somewhere that true art is the expression of the divine within-- of God within us. When we reach that moment of honesty in our work/expression we are communing with God Himself because God is the embodiment of truth (as well as love) and that, my friends, is beautiful!

Hair-raising moments

Michael, Laurie's husband, snapped this photo of Elle at Gigi's wild and crazy birthday party. I had so much fun snapping pictures of all the children but there was so much going on that I couldn't catch everything and I'm glad that Michael was there snapping along too. This moment is hilarious, and like the commercial says, priceless!! The blueberry photo I snatched off of facebook from Mindy's album. It makes me laugh every time I see it. Oh that Elle! Like mother, like daughter. :)

Happy 3rd Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Georgia, Happy Birthday to you! At 11:37 AM 3 years ago today you came into the world and changed our lives forever. You are a special, fabulous blessing and we love you. We hope you liked your cinnamon roll birthday wake up this morning. And we hope you love your princess/pool/bubble party tomorrow! Kisses forever you darling dearest angel! Love, Mommy & Papi

Ideas!

Every now and again I just get bombarded with fascinating ideas and possibilities. This past week has been one of those times. I've had a million and one ideas swirling around in my head. Photoshop has been my main creative focus the past few months and I still want it to stay that way. But a new glorious idea that Rodolfo and I have discussed for over 6 months is seeming to ripen as well and oh how I would like to pursue it!
In the photo above, Georgia is telling me about her necklace which was a gift from her Abuela Orie, Abuelo Ofo and Abuelita Tenchi. She loves that necklace. Aren't her eyes pretty?

Le Weekend!

We have had an easy, breezy, beautiful weekend so far. Last night we went over to the lake and walked around. It felt so carefree to just say to heck with routine and bedtime, let's go have fun! We even took Wally and were glad to have our canine companion plopping along beside us. This afternoon we had lunch with Granny to celebrate her 88th birthday-- Happy Birthday Granny! And then this evening we are headed over to my parents to celebrate my dad's 55th (or is it 26th?) birthday. Of course, we are gearing up for Gigi's big 3rd birthday coming very soon. My week is sure to be full of planning and preparations. Ah! I love summer!

Firestation & Hair Brushing

We visited the Edmond firestation today with a group of girls from church. It was really actually an educational visit. I figured it would be 15 minutes of organized chaos with the little ones, but the kids actually behaved well and listened to the firemen who were full of lots of pertinent advice. We were there for an hour. The highlight, of course, was when the kids got to sit in the firetruck (see above), but seeing the fireman suit up into his uniform was a close second. Georgia was not intimidated at all by the hat and mask and actually went up and gave the fireman a high-five. She also spent a lot of time brushing her hair and the hair of those around her. This has become her thing, brushing hair. If you look closely at the last picture, she even has the hair brush in the firetruck!! Silly girl. :)

Halt!

We had our final homestudy interview yesterday. It went all wrong. I thought I had planned everything perfectly. The house was spotless. My life book looked nearly professional. Georgia actually was wearing an outfit that I picked out. Rodolfo and I had said a beautiful prayer that morning together anticipating our next child. But when the woman walked through our door, sat down at our breakfast table and said that she wanted us to wait I couldn't believe my ears. She said that she felt like I was still yearning for a biological child and that it wasn't fair to a birthmother and an adopted child to be placed in a family where these emotions exist. I was floored, didn't know what to say, how to respond. You know, in movies the actors all respond so gracefully to events. Even their sorrow looks elegant. Mine did not. I immediately lost all composure and had tears and nose slobber pouring down my face. My voice was high and squeeky and I sounded more like a child than a woman. The reason she came to this conclusion is because I am taking herbal teas, acupuncture and following a fertility diet. Yes, I would like to have a biological child again. But I am still unclear as to how this negates my desire to adopted a child. She argued that when one adopts a person needs to be completely resigned to the fact that they cannot have children any other way. This sounds suspect to me. Don't families with biological children adopt??? I asked her this question and she said not domestically, normally only internationally. I am very perturbed at her conclusion. She said that it is not that we are bad canidates for adoption, she just wants us to get past this stage of yearning for a biological one before we continue down this path. I told her that I don't think any woman who has been diagnosed with infertility ever gets past the yearning for a biological child. How could she? Then she said that we just need to stop actively trying to conceive one of our own before she wants us to move forward. For about 12 hours I pondered this stance. At first I thought, okay maybe she is right, maybe by actively trying to conceive another child I am showing indifference towards adoption. But the more I have considered it, the more strongly I disagree. I JUST WANT A BABY!!!! God is the one that gives a child to a family, not an agency, not a doctor, and not herbs and acupuncture. All I am doing by trying these things is hoping to widen the possibility of a baby coming into my life. I'm trying to cover all my bases in the hopes that somehow, someway, sooner than later a beautiful, healthy, wonderful little person will join our family. Frankly, I could care less how the baby arrives. I've already jumped that hurdle. A baby coming through me or through another woman is not an issue. God is the one that gives a baby to a person and that person does not own the baby (see post a few months ago). I'm even getting nauseated as I type. Have to go. Will conclude later.

Peek-a-boo!

Yea! Here is the other photo I was trying to load last night. Glad it finally loaded.

Playing

Been playing with my camera and photoshop today. Here are the best from today's work. There is one other shot that I keep trying to download but it won't take on blogspot. Don't know why. It is one of her smiling. A nice contrast to these more serious photos.

singing in the rain

We received a true down pour of rain yesterday. It was such an unexpected and welcome occurance. It rained on the 4th and now again on the 27th. Is this really July? Our yard might actually be green in August! Last night, once the skies had cleared, we had the pleasure of walking in 70 degree weather. When we returned home, Georgia did a rendition from the Sound of Music and had me and Rodolfo as her back up group. It was so funny because every time Rodolfo would try to get up to leave she would tug on his neck and nearly choke him because she so wanted us to continue singing with her. And of course we did. We all sang for about half an hour and then played like we were on an airplane and then at the doctor. Interesting how play imitates life. Kids are so fascinating.

Wild Coyotes are Magical

Just spent the past 5 days sleeping in this tent on an expansive estate in Ojai, California. I haven't slept outdoors in ages. The experience was breathtaking. Because our tent faced east-west, I literally awoke every morning as the sun was rising. The sunlight would ever so gently peek its head up above the trees and the rays of light would stretch out their arms to shine straight upon me. I felt like it was God saying goodmorning. The experience was grand. I picked oranges, lemons and a fig straight off of their trees. I hiked. I lived. I breathed. It was wonderful. The most memorable part though was the night the coyotes ran by our tent. My roommate and I heard them rustle around but we didn't know what animal they were until they were some distance from us and they cried their pack howl together. It was frightening and magical. I won't forget this experience ever. I told Rodolfo that maybe we should set a tent up in the backyard. That way, whenever we want, we can sleep under the stars. Wouldn't that be nice? I think so.

Tennessee Family Reunion

We spent a long weekend in Tennessee relaxing and having a fabulous time hanging out with a side of the family we need to see a lot more often. Many thanks to Chris and Barbara for opening their home to us-- what a resort nieghborhood you live in! It was very touching to listen to Uncle Ronnie talk about family. His role of family patriarch suits him nicely. He reminded me a lot of Papa. Besides all of the lineage information he shared, I would like to add that if the innate stubborness of any Johnson is a clue, I'd definitely say that we descended from the William Wallace clan. :)

Georgia had a great time hanging out with all of her new-found cousins. She vividly remembers swinging with Trent and sliding with Kendal. Just today she asked me where "the boys" went to (referring to Hunter and Oliver). I had to break it to her that they were still back in Tennessee. She and Sophia had fun chasing each other around and brushing each others (and their own) hair (see photo above). But my favorite memory of Georgia and Sophia is from Big Ed's when they were licking parmesan and eating chocolate cupcakes-- what a mess indeed!

Interviews

Rodolfo and I had our interviews for the adoption last Thursday. I was so nervous and I don't know why. I was more nervous with this interview than I was even with Rodolfo's green card interview (which was way more intimidating). Maybe my emotions were high because these interviews signify that we are that much closer to actually, physically, tangibly holding our next baby. I mean, the interviews were conducted in the same building where birthmoms enter and exit. Who knows, our birthmom could have been in there the same time we were! She there with the baby in her womb. It is so strange this type of waiting. While you are pregnant you prepare for the baby that you feel inside of you. You know that it is coming because your belly grows, you feel the kicks you see the heartbeat. When you adopt the sensations are different. It is more a matter of the heart. You sense it all, the coming of your next child, its development, its being, but you sense it in a spiritual sense and an emotional one. You know that baby is there but you just can't see it. It is all very strange becoming parents again this way. But I am ready and I am learning so much about love through this whole process. Little one, wherever you are, I love you and can't wait to meet you. Grow strong! We are praying and thinking about you all the time!

Happy 4th!

July 4th was surprisingly cool and rainy this year. The Graves invited us over for a cook out. Georgia and Ashleigh had a good-old time running around in their bathing suits even though it was a little chilly. We popped kid-friendly fireworks, ate and talked. It was very low key and relaxing. On our drive home we passed downtown just as the grand finale was shooting over the night sky. The timing couldn't have been better. Was a nice way to top off our 4th!

Out to Lunch

As my diet has drastically changed due to a Traditional Chinese medicine diet I have adopted (no wheat, dairy or sugar) it is high time for another restaurant review of OKC. Here are my 2009 recommendations:

Mediterranean Deli - A quirky, diverse clientele of academics, socialites, and Mediterranean immigrants frequent this quiet little secret inauspiciously placed on busy May avenue. The food tastes homemade and authentic, like recipes passed down through generations. My favorite items are the lentils, hummus, grapeleaf rolls, cabbage rolls, olive salads and baklava. Everything I have sampled at this restaurant has been tasty. My only complaint is the atmosphere-- it would behoove the owner to add a little music to really put people in the mood for some great Mediterannean dining! Lots of imported products are available for purchase. I have heard the yogurt, herbs and feta are fabulous!

Saturn Grill - Although I cannot eat this now, I still have day dreams about the Thai Broccoli salad offered at this popular and way-too-busy-at lunch-time bistro.

Cafe do Brazil - This place is sexy. It always makes me want to hop a plane to Brazil and drink a caipirinha on its legendary beaches. I love the building where the restaurant is housed, love Anna the friendly owner and I especially love their vegetarian dish with beans, rice, and collard greens. My mouth is watering as I type.

Cafe de Antigua - A Guatemalan diner run by a Guatemalan family. Serves gigantic licuados straight from heaven. Georgia loves the strawberry banana one while I am partial to the honeydew cantelope combination. Rodolfo always orders some other drink that has red beans in it, I forget what it is called but his mom and grandmother ordered it too when we took them. If you are from Guatemala you probably will love it. Food wise, this restaurant excels at breakfast and makes a leisurely Saturday morning outing.

Boulevard Steak House - Hands down the best steak house in Oklahoma City. I have also been to the Range (which is way more expensive and still quite great) but I have to give the award to Boulevard. We went on our anniversary and my steak came out tender, sizzling, perfectly seasoned and melt-in-your-mouth to die for good. I really wanted to try the oven-roasted Boursin from their appetizer menu, but seeing as dairy is not on my diet I courageously declined.

Irma's Burger Shack - Get the No Name burger. It is local oragnic meat and made the way a burger should be. Great laid-back, family restaurant.

Sushi Neko- Okay, okay, I know that there are other, "better" sushi restaurants around but I'm loyal to my first love. This is the first place I ever tried sushi and I'm addicted to the way they prepare my favorites. Plus I like their miso soup the best and you have to admit their fried banana icecream with choclate dessert is pretty darn fabulous. In terms of atmosphere, this place has got the music down to a T. Not too loud, not too soft, trendy but not in an uncomfortable way. Plus they always give Georgia a balloon when we eat there. The last time we did her balloon blew away after about 2 minutes outside. The staff was so nice because before I knew it, a waiter came outside and gave Georgia another, brighter balloon. So considerate!

Sage - This is a new downtown restaurant started up to supposedly meet the high-end grocery needs of the residents of this trendy, venture-capitalist community. While there are some specialty groceries tossed around the place, overall the restaurant seems more like a bar/sandwhich shop to me. I find the atmosphere rather cold and uncomfortable, but there is one item on the menu, Steak and Potatoe soup (for only $6) that knocked my socks off. So much so that it would be amiss for me not to include it here. The bowl is huge and the soup delicous and filling. It is a steal at $6 and even worth sitting in hard chairs to eat.

Cafe Nova - I've only eaten here once in the past year and it was for brunch. Apparently this is a hot-spot for the after-party morning crowd because they have cheap mimosas. I enjoyed swanking it up with Rodolfo and Gigi that morning, ate a really delicious breakfast and treated myself to a mimosa as well. The portions in the morning are much more generous than the lunch and evening menus. Fun place with wild atmosphere.

Bellini's Ristorante - Still my favorite outdoor spot for dining. Wish I could eat their pizzas. The margarita pizza is divine. Good spaghetti too, but not as good as my next entry's spaghetti. Lovely place.

Victoria's - Used to be the most romantic spot in Norman for a date. Now it seems grimy and slimy to me (perhaps it is just my perspective that has changed). Thank goodness the food is still as delicious as ever. Fresh, handmade spaghetti noodles that are so thick and chewy they make the stuff from the stores seem like an entirely different species of food. And the spaghetti sauce!!! I don't know if it is cinnamon or what but there is some kind of savory/sweet combination that makes this sauce hands down the best I have ever eaten.

County Line - Potatoe salad and brisket heaven.

OKC Museum of Art Cafe - Food is fab or bad, but the windows and atmosphere are spot-on big city glamour. On Thursday nights they serve drinks on the roof. Very cosmopolitan.

Old Kaiser's icecream building - They have an old fashioned soda fountain and bar. I need to take Gigi here for a banana split. Love their warm potato salad. Nostalgic place to lunch.

Prairie Thunder Baking Company - Owned by a Geologist (who happens to share Georgia's birthday) that always wanted to own a bread baking store. This is the place to go to for baguettes and fresh bread. Man that place smells good when they are cooking.

Happy Accident

Have you ever seen those tutus on etsy.com? Well, I am hooked to this website and have purchased several as gifts for friends. I decided that the tutus don't look that complicated and tried my hand at making one for Gigi. Georgia loved it and was bouncing on the couch because she was so happy. I was trying to take her photo and fell over while snapping due to her bouncing. The result was this fabulous photo. I love it so much! It is artistic and fluffy just like a tutu!!!! What a happy accident.

St. Rodolfo of Assisi

Monday morning Wally caught a bird and was torturing the poor creature. Rodolfo intervened and rescued him from certain death. He has been nursing the bird (maybe a dove) back to health ever since by feeding him some of my health-food grains (amaranth) and water. That same morning while driving to work Rodolfo also noticed a turtle crossing a busy street. I didn't get to see the turtle because he released it on the grounds of Chesapeake near their little river, but he said it was a nice turtle. I told Rodolfo his super-hero name should be St. Rodolfo of Assisi, inspired by Saint Francis himself, the patron saint of animals. :) Gigi has had a blast helping Rodolfo care for the bird. I think we need to name him. How about Flit?

Tomatoes are like candy

The tomatoes are nearly ripe. My mouth is watering as I type. I didn't stake my tomatoes too well so they are a jumbled mess, next year I will have to stake more strategically. However, I am happy that at least they have tomatoes growing on them! I've also had success with my jalepenos, my kung fu peppers and then some kind of other peppers, I don't know what they are because they are not what I thought I planted, but oh well, nice surprise I guess. My Bell Peppers grew and were so beautiful, but then some kind of ugly pest ate a really odd portion of each bell pepper top and they have not been the same since. We also had some delicious sweet peas and a couple of squash (my squash have also been attacked and are no longer producing). Overall I am very pleased with this experiment and need to clean up my beds to prepare for late summer/fall plantings.

Besos!

On this beautiful evening Gigi blew me a kiss (and I caught it here on film)!